Since it first opened its doors twenty-five years ago, Friendship House has walked with thousands of homeless, displaced persons on their road back to independent, self-sufficient lives. This experience has taught its staff and volunteers important lessons about the nature of homelessness, recovery and community..

The first important lesson to learn is that you need to survive before you can recover. If you have exhausted your economic resources, if your problems are more than you can handle on your own, if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, you need to humble yourself and accept the help that is available. In New Castle County, there is a network of homeless ministries that provide those in need with food, clothing, shelter and medical care. Because these ministries are serving a large population, they cannot usually personalize their services to each individual client. Quite simply, if you want the help, you need to play by their rules.

The second important lesson is that recovery takes time. If you really want to put your life back in order and not simply stick a finger in the latest leak in the dike that is your survival network, you need to be motivated, honest, patient and dedicated. Motivation means that a person takes personal responsibility for his or her own recovery; I make it happen rather than waiting for the world to change. Honesty means a willingness to speak the whole truth to yourself and the people that are trying to help you. A person in recovery mode needs to stop telling people what he or she thinks that they want to hear. Patience means that a person sets realistic goals for themselves. No one can do everything at once. People in recovery need to set priorities and address their issues in stages. Lastly, Dedication means that a person recognizes that to accomplish one’s goals, he or she must give them the time and energy that they demand. There are no shortcuts to recovery.

The last important lesson is that everyone recovers in their own way and at their own paces. Regarding life recovery programs, there is " no one size fit all". What worked for you may not work for me. There is a broad enough variety of life recovery resources available in New Castle County that most people committed to addressing their issues and getting back on their feet can find a program that is right for them. Like the survival resources, however, most life recovery programs have their own structure and style of ministry. Just as you are not required to join their program, they are not required to customize their program to fit your personal preferences. Just as one needs to find the program that fits, so too one needs to accept that his or her life-recovery journey is going to take as long as it takes. There may be several missteps on that journey. Someone may become impatient with themselves or the process and relapse into self-destructive life choices. Others may do everything right, being totally committed to their programs and still get knocked down by something beyond their control. If one learns from it, no life experience is a loss. Sometimes one learns more from a mistake than from a success. If this is the first or the hundredth time that a person finds himself or herself a homeless and displaced person, they should not lose faith in the value of their life and their ability to achieve their dreams. THE TIME IS NOW. Learn from the past, but don’t brood on it. Believe in the future, but live in today and make it happen.

While homeless individuals can use this resource guide to implement their own recovery strategy, most will find it helpful to collaborate with an experienced case manager from any of the various homeless services agencies listed in this guide. The Friendship House Men’s Center is located at 226 N Walnut St in Wilmington and is open weekdays from 6:00 A.M. to noon. The Friendship House Women’s Center is located at 720 N. Orange St and is open weekdays from 6:30 A.M. to 2:30 P.M. The Friendship House Newark Empowerment Center is located at 69 E Main St in Newark and is open weekdays from 1:00 – 4:00 PM.